Update: The blog post discussed in this update has been changed. For more information, check the comments section.
I want to preface this update with the following statement;
This update is not designed to cause arguements or drama between anyone. I am simply addressing a very real, very distressing problem, using evidence I have seen myself on the internet. I am aware this update will probably clash with a lot of people’s opinions and I would like to welcome anyone to voice their opinion in the comments section in a mature manner.
Right, with that out of the way, I want to discuss today the problem of what foreigners think of the Japanese. Obviously I’m not talking about all foreign visitors, and to be honest I would hope this is a small majority, but in the last few days I’ve seen two different articles that I feel are not just misinformed, but entirely wrong.
Two days ago, Neil Duckett wrote on his blog an update called Amae And Japanese Girls. I spotted the title via Japan Soc and had to find out what he had to say. I enjoy his blog and plenty of his updates are very useful and interesting, but this one was beyond unacceptable from an established Japan blog writer.
One thing i’ve noticed since moving to Japan and something Japanese girls themselves have mentioned to me is the level of maturity, or lack thereof, in Japanese girls. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, not by any stretch, truth be known that’s actually what many Japanese men and also many Gaijin love about Japanese Girls.
What. Are you seriously proposing that “many gaijin” love the fact they think they can push these grown up kids around? Exactly what message is this meant to bring across? “Hey guys, if you don’t want an adult relationship, head to Japan”? Even if some Japanese girls reckoned they or other girls lack maturity does not make it a reality, nor does it make it an acceptable opinion.
Neil then goes on to talk about Amae, a Japanese term relating to emotional development and maturity. But wait!
Also firstly let me say, my thoughts on this subject have NO connection whatsoever to the 2 Japanese Friends i was out with last night should they happen to read this!
So you’re prepared to label an entire gender of a nation with this term but not close friends? It seems to me you realise this is an unacceptable statement, and want to cover your tracks incase someone takes offence, which is pretty likely considering the following other golden quotes taken from the update;
Japanese men like younger women, there’s no secret there, i’m quite partial to them myself. It’s widely known a girl over the age of 26 will struggle to find a partner and i’ve heard of the term ”Christmas Pudding” often used to describe them. I’d hazard a guess there’s a Japanese version of this which it was actually derived from but i can’t be certain. As a foreigner giving mid 30’s a good shove i have no problem whatsoever targetting what’s left on the shelf in the their late 20’s!
So basically, you’re saying “I think Japanese men like younger women. I’ve heard a few people use some rediculous term to describe older single women and I’m using this misinformed belief to lust after girls younger than I am.”
I don’t have a problem with people dating people older or younger than themselves as long as it’s legal, but this is a disgusting statement. You make yourself look immature and desperate, and you are affixing a horrible label to an entire nation of people. There is a big difference between “I know or have heard of some Japanese men who like younger girls” and “All Japanese men like younger girls” and you need to realise this. I know plenty of people who would be utterly horrified by these rediculous beliefs.
Japanese men like their girls submissive, there’s very little room in Japanese society for a stronger female character, not if they plan on getting married anyway. How else would the Japanese man live his Salary Man existance if he had a wife that expected him home to do his share of the household duties?
Here we delve into the history books and draw upon a history of female subjegation. There’s probably some weight to this statement, however the last sentence establishes that Neil thinks this is a good thing. I have a suggestion, Neil. Why not pop into a nearby business and ask a couple of the women why they aren’t busy getting married or cooking for their husband?
Even more worrying than the post itself is the comments the update has got. Plenty of “I learned a lot here!” replies suggest people are reading this and believing it. Please don’t. Have some sense and realise Japan, like every other nation, is made up of a massive variety of people, and blanket terms and blind stereotyping is never suitable.
I want to wrap this up now because this is getting too long and I want people to read and understand this. I hope this inspires bloggers to think more carefully, and causes everyone with some of these racist and sexist stereotypes to wake up and join the adult world. Of course, I can’t control what anyone writes on their blog, but I hope common sense would win through in the end.
