Japan Is Doomed

Happy New Year everyone! (Well nearly). Here’s to 2008; the year I will return to Japan, the Olympics will rock China and Amy Winehouse will inevitably go the way of the Spears and shave her horrible hair off.

As is customary, I thought I’d make a few New Year’s Resolutions, starting with the most obvious;

1. I will update this blog more
Even though my course is killing me, I’m determined to try to double the output of Japan Is Doomed. I’m going to write more “comedy” articles where I try desperately to be funny, as in my recent °C-ute article. Some time ago I promised a few updates about tricks for remembering Japanese language, and I’ll endeavour to write those in the new year too.
I also promise to settle on a look. I’ve been changing it quite often recently whilst I find a look that I’m happy with - I quite like the current one but there are some glaring errors that I may have to switch because of. I don’t want to say what they are because then you’ll go find them and be annoyed.

In the back of my mind, I know that no post will ever generate as much interest as these photos, particularly in my email inbox. Thus, my second resolution is to;

2. Take Up Tae Kwon Do
Sadly, Sheffield University doesn’t offer a Shorinji course, so I chose the martial art that looks the coolest. After all, that’s what’s really important, right? I’ll be high kicking, screaming and limping into 2008.

My final resolution is incredibly predictable, but I have to put it;

3. Practice Kanji Harder
Which reminds me…I’m putting off studying right now to write this.

Comment with your resolutions!

General

God, how the time flies by! Just one year ago today I was only four months through my gap year! Japan Is Doomed is now sixteen months old, too! That means it’s nearly old enough to walk! (I think, I don’t know, I don’t have any kids)

Anyway, I thought I’d take this opportunity to deliver some news : Japan Is Doomed . The content will all be moved over to a new name and a new domain for 2008. More news will follow in the near future.

Update: Due to various issues, the site will not be moving for the near future. It may not move at all. I’ll let you know.

General Blog, Christmas

My apologies, but as this week’s essay contains quite a lot of personal information about me, I’d rather not post it on this blog. That means that next week’s essay, assuming we are set one, will be the last one I write before my exams, and will be the final one I post on this blog. Whilst it has been great fun translating them for you guys to read, and then enjoying the “You are utterly insane” emails I get on a somewhat shockingly regular basis, I want to move away from relying on my work for content for Japan Is Doomed.

I’m going to start a new series of updates which introduce grammar points that I found very useful or very difficult. I’m doing this for two reasons - the first is to create a useful resource for anyone wishing to learn Japanese. The second reason is it will help me solidify my understanding of grammatical points.

The winter is nearly over, and as a result I will be able to go outside without freezing to death. I really want to get around Sheffield with my camera at some point and take lots of photos of the city I call home. I really should do one set now and one set in the summer. Sheffield, despite it’s size, is a city with plenty of nature, which is really nice in the summer, so I shall endevour to get some photos during the two nice days a year we experience in the north of England.

In the meantime, here is a lovely song by Japanese rock band L’Arc~En~Ciel. It’s called Daybreak’s Bell and is the themetune to some anime program. I don’t know which one, but the song is fantastic, which is a suprise L’Arc~En~C’iel usually play boring Dad-rock.

As I said, next week is my final week at university, which means more frequent updates! Hurrah!

General Essay, Music

I was tagged by Jamaipanese in a game I have cleverly titled “blogtag”. Basically, I have to post eight interesting things about myself, before passing it on to a few other blog authors who’s secrets I dream of knowing. Usually I don’t really enjoy this sort of “Post your four favourite motorway signs” stuff, but I’ll give this one a go as it gives me an excuse to talk about some of the stuff I never wrote about on here.

1. Photographs
Every photograph that I have taken this year, aside from a few on my mobile phone, were taken with one of two cameras. From September to just before I went to Kyoto, I was using a tiny little black Olympus Mini Mju, which I still plan to use at concerts and so on. Nowadays I use a Nikon D80, a fantastic piece of kit with way too many buttons.

2. Music
I have a 60GB iPod Video, which is filled with all sorts of stuff. For a decent list of my music tastes, have a look at my Last.FM profile. I like listening to my iPod far too loud on the train, which lets people around me listen to music for free! I truly am a wonderful giver.

3. Japan Is Doomed
This blog is hosted by Dreamhost, powered by Wordpress and looks nice thanks to the Wordpress fSpring theme. The first post was written on August 25th. I average 7.9 updates a month, which suggests I will have around 84 updates at the end of my year, although the next two months are going to be the busiest I’ve ever had, so I am expecting to hit near 100, unless I can think of even more excuses not to post. I don’t think “My dog ate my blog” counts, does it? There are 264 comments currently on the blog, and if I let spammers post, I would have 15,591 comments. Curse you, spammers!

4. University
My first day at Sheffield University will be October 1st. I am taking Japanese language, which is a four year course, the third of which is at a university in Japan. I have no idea which university in Japan I will end up at or even which one I want to go to yet, I’m not even going to worry about that yet. Alongside Japanese I can take a variety of other subjects, I’m thinking of an English Teaching course (TOEFL) or possibly advanced drinking studies, although I heard the coursework for that is a nightmare.

5. Forgotten Things
Although I try to use this blog to remember everything I’ve done, there’s quite a bit of stuff I never updated about for various reasons. They include seeing Delta Goodrem (I’m not a fan but she is stunning) in HMV, eating Ostrich at Leon’s birthday party (it was delicious) and visiting the Edo museum in Tokyo but failing to get any photographs. Oops.

6. Vital Statistics
My blood type is A positive. I am 182cm tall (or so). Eating black licorice makes me sick. I am a huge fan of cold Kirin beer. My favourite movies are Shaun Of The Dead, Battle Royale and The Shawshank Redemption. I also love The Lion King and The Truman Show but people laugh at me when I say that. I am right handed.

7. The Future
I leave Japan on August 20th and start university, as I said, on October 1st. I plan to come back to Japan next summer to visit everyone. I don’t know what I will do with Japan Is Doomed, but it will stay online for people to read. I’ll probably move it over to another site when I decide what I want to do.

8. Contact
I always reply to emails so please do drop me an email sometime. I will always write back and be nice. This is a clever way to get out of thinking of an 8th point and nothing more.

I am going to “tag” the following people; Leon, Nate & Dafydd. Gentlemen, start your writing!

General

For a couple of months now, I have been studying Shorinji Kempo (SK) with my students at Junten. The President of the school is an expert at it and there is a dedicated group of about 60 students who turn up three or four times a week each to practice. It's a Buddhist martial art that focuses on teamwork and partnership to accomplish various technique combinations, rather than on competition. There are no direct killing moves in SK, although I imagine it's still got it's uses in a bar brawl. People who practice SK are called Kenshi so now you can tell everyone you know that your friend Mike is a Kenshi.

Before I begin telling you about my experiences with Shorinji Kempo, I will point out that this update contains no photos of me in my pretty SK Dogi. Sorry guys! But on Friday I received my SK wallet card, which I think means I can legally kill anyone I like, and thought I'd write this update to warn you all…

Anyway, the lesson begins at 4pm with a cleaning of the hall and about twenty minutes of stretching exercises. Everything from pushups to the splits to rotating every wrist and ankle is covered in a variety of excruciating ways. Afterwards, the group moves to one side of the hall, and progresses to the other side doing various moves chained together. This is one part of the session that I really don't enjoy as often I have no idea how to do half the moves, so I end up trailing across the hall miles behind everyone else. However, I have the largest legspan in the group so with a few stealthy strides I can keep up.

Afterwards we break up into groups or pairs and practice various moves for tests. There are only three belt colours in SK - White, Brown and Black. I'm in training to get my brown belt although I don't know if I have enough time between now and August to get it, but if I don't I'll come pretty close so I should be able to get it in England.

Anyway, I thought I would give everyone a free lesson in Shorinji by teaching you the first part of the combination Ten Chi Ken, which means "Sky Ground Punch" or something I don't know. This combination starts with your left leg in front.

1. Front Punch
   So far so good…
2. Back Punch
   Hey what was I thinking? I can do this! This is easy!
3. Shuffle Forward, Block your face with back hand and swing front hand into a side punch.
   Wait, what?
4. Step back into right stance, block above your head with your right hand.
   Wait stop I'm still doing part three!
5. Block your face with right hand and your midriff with lower hand.
   Look can we just go back to part three again I…
6. Sweep a block to your left side with your upper hand and bring it back to your middle.
   Hang on a second my left leg is caught in my trousers.
7. Kick with right leg.
   Am I meant to be doubled over in pain because if I am I think I nailed it this time.
8. Drop into right stance.
   I came up with my own variation here called "Drop into hospital".

Truth be told I'm not that bad but I think this gives you an idea of how hard it is to improve something when your mistakes are pointed out in a language everyone but you can understand.

Last but not least, SK has taught me one very important lesson. Little girls are shockingly strong and are not to be questioned. Yes, Tomomi-San, you pass English. Just let me live…

General