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Swapping Cards and Spotting Ferns

April 10th, 2007

According to the Junten school schedule, I officially began work last Friday. In reality that means I spent every day of last week at work, doing various crazy and exciting things as planning sample lessons for new students, sitting in my office and something that I have called “Progressive Time Management”, which means sitting in my office staring at a clock.

One thing that was fun, however, was the walk on Saturday morning. It was planned to start at around 8.30am, but I was told to arrive at Junten a bit earlier than that to prepare the students for the day ahead. This means it was a very bad thing when I accidentally set my alarm clock to go off at 7pm, and had to run to school at 8.06. Once there I pretended I had planned to get in at 8.15 looking like I’d just been drinking and quickly hid amongst the teachers so as not to draw attention to myself. This would have worked had it not been for my height, blonde hair and English voice.

We were set to walk from Junten School to Tokyo University, via a few little parks and sites of interest on the way. Joining us would be all the first year junior students, brand new and scared and yet to be forever scarred by the Junten discipline council. They were very excited at the prospect of being in school but not being in uniform. I’d make some elitist comment about them being easily excited here but Wahoo! I’m in school in a shirt and jeans!

The weather couldn’t have been nicer, which was somewhat of a blessing as we’d had a freak rainstorm with snow just a few days before. Proudly we set off to the first destination on our journey - the nearby park where the cherry blossoms were still in bloom. I was quite upset by this because I had not brought my camera with me. Permission for anyone and everyone reading this to be very angry with me granted. The park itself is very small and kind of boring, and it doesn’t hold a candle to the other stuff we walked past, so I’ll stop writing about it. A lot more interesting was the next thing we arrived at. I was told it was a National Park, albeit the smallest National Park in the entire universe. It was still quite big, but I think you could have comfortably walked around the entire thing in an hour or two. The place itself was stunning, and I spent the whole time either kicking myself for leaving the camera at home, and being asked to swap business cards with the new students. All the students and teachers had been asked to make a few business cards, with their name, class and a message for the receiver. Everyone else got away with writing about six, but I was instructed to make forty. Originally I had complained because writing messages in Japanese takes a long time, but in the end it turned out that forty was not nearly enough. Quite a few heartbroken students were turned away cardless towards the end of the day. The early first year gets the worm, kids!

The kids spent the time in the park playing Nature Bingo. Quite a few of them asked me to help them find some random plant or flower or something, but I politely refused, insisting they had to complete the game by themselves. Actually, I just really wanted to play as well but nobody invited me, and there was no way I was helping another team to complete their task! I secretly managed to find all the different ferns, animals and trees without even using a sheet. That’ll show them. After everyone had finished, we made our way from the park towards the university, stopping on the way at some famous author’s house who’s name escapes me.

Finally, we arrived at Tokyo University. What can I say? I’ll have to head back there at some point and take some photos of this place. A huge Kyoto shrine would not really have looked out of place in this thing’s garden. A garden that is perfectly maintained and financed, for a load of drunken students to throw up on. I think. I almost felt like pulling out a few bottles of Vodka and getting into the spirit of things myself. Instead I decided it would be more diplomatic to follow the rest of the group downstairs, into the underground cafeteria.

That’s right. Underground Cafeteria. About the size of two football fields, the cafeteria is a huge circular room which can fit hundreds of people in at the same time. The food itself is great, although there are no windows and I couldn’t help but feel a little claustrophobic. The students enjoyed it too, and I had to fend off a few more with “I have no more cards” so I could actually eat my meal.

The walk itself was a great experience and I had a nice time, it was only 8km, so it wasn’t really that tiring at all. This term I will be an assistant homeroom (form teacher) for the first year juniors, which I am really looking forward to because they seem like a lively bunch. Feel free to point me to this article when I write a huge update complaining about them next month, though…

Gap Year, Teaching in Japan

Shorinji Kempo: Photographs

February 4th, 2007

Howls of disbelief and sorrow could be heard when I announced in this update that I had no photos of me in my Shorinji Kempo kit. It’s just as well then that Leon came along to Saturday training to take lots of embarrasing photos!

Before you laugh, remember that I could kill you. If you stood very still and allowed me to shout out “Ichi! Ni! San!” whilst I tried to hit you.

This is me locked in furious battle with Tomomi-san. She foolishly thinks that by knowing all the moves of Shorinji and being very very good at it, she can defeat me. She would be right if it wasn’t for my secret weapon - my armspan.

This is me getting the move we had worked on just last week entirely wrong. But I can do it now! So that’s OK! Right?! Hey, don’t look at me like that!

Well, that’s it. Sorry it took so long to get these photos to materialize, and I’m fully aware I haven’t updated in a few days. I’m working on an update about Setsubun, which is the beans festival. BEANS!

Gap Year, Teaching in Japan

English Mistakes 1

January 15th, 2007

I’ve been teaching for about four months now, and I’ve amassed quite a collection of wrong, strange and frankly outrageous English mistakes over the weeks. I already wrote about the “I completely took the wrong clothes!” fiasco in the Winter Testing update, but here are some more of my favourites that Matt or I have seen.

“He is a great friend, and this is why I have a crush on him.”
- Senior 1st Grade student writing about his best friend.

“I had not been skiing for a while, so I was fierce.”
- This is the first recorded case of snow rage.

“But I went higher and the slope was slippery with a mother.”
- Slippery parents. Who can stand ‘em?

“But I cannot love woman. I love pretty young girls. I am stupid. Yeah!”
- This young man helpfully defines the worst chat up line ever.

“I love my parents, but if I think ugly thoughts, they would die.”
- That really works?! Matt Damon ugly thoughts, everyone!

“Do you know what is Japanese new year tradition? I do not know but I will tell you.”
- At least she admits everything else I read is a load of crap!

“Every year in Russia, over 20,000 women go missing and are never found.”
- Shown alongside an animated Winnie The Pooh and Piglet.

“But that which is it when it is hard is so hard to be easy. I think when it is hard.”
- Must…resist…rude…joke…

“I had a flaming good time!”
- Written instead of “I had a good time because it was warm”

That’s not all of them by a long shot, but I thought rather than post them all at once I’ll do short updates about them every so often. Enjoy!

Friendly Reminder: Clicking on Google ads feeds starving Mikes.

Gap Year, Teaching in Japan

Back To Work & Blog Stuff

January 9th, 2007

Well, the dream is over. I’m back in work. Today was the school’s opening ceremony, which means standing around for ages in the cold, and then the students all went home but we had to stay in work until 1.30pm. Doing nothing. So yeah this might be the one day in my whole gap year that I remember as being the best. I’ll write my speech just as soon as Jessica Simpson writes her MENSA acceptance speech.

Yesterday was coming of age day in Japan, when all the 20 year olds dress up and become adults. I got quite a lot of nice photos of the girls in their kimonos, so I’ll post them when I do my next update. Speaking of which, the frequency with which I update may slow down a little over the coming weeks, until March when I’m on holiday again! Woohoo!

My Harajuku Girls entry is getting an awful lot of attention from fashion blogs, so I’m planning to head back to Harajuku when I can to get some better photos of the oddly-dressed lunatics. We don’t really have much else coming up but when I get the chance, I’ll run off with my camera and take some interesting photos.

Gap Year, Teaching in Japan

School Christmas Party Part 2

December 19th, 2006

Continuing from yesterday’s post about the Christmas Party. The next challenge was the “Dress someone like a Christmas tree” challenge. Unfortunately there was no “Think of good names for the challenges” challenge…

The students broke off into groups of 4-5 and began their task of destroying Christmas decorations decorating each other. The results range from really bad to even worse, but in the end we gave the first place to the girl who wrapped her head in tinsel. Inspired Christmas decorations or the world’s worst safety helmet? You decide!

The results are rather surprising since the students helped us to decorate the room and the real Christmas tree and the results were rather impressive. Maybe the Japanese ability to decorate disappears under exciting conditions?

The real question now is what could possibly top all this? Unwrapping a huge present painfully slowly and winning a pretty crappy prize (A British keyring. Actually quite a nice prize for a Japanese student. Matt provided it, he’d kill me if I took credit for it!) sure is fun, as is ripping paper and wrapping each other in Tinsel. What could possibly top it all?

Well, whilst Matt taught the students The Twelve Days Of Christmas, I went off to undergo an amazing transformation!

Merry Christmas indeed! Yes, Mike Claus made an appearance at the end of the party. For some weird reason the Japanese teacher who helped me get into the atrocity told me I should stuff my trousers so that’s why I have thunder thighs in this picture. I can’t believe I’m posting in on the Internet! After a short build up from Matt and Barney, (the American teacher I work with) I burst in and gave sweets to everyone, before I answered a few questions from the students about Christmas and so forth.

Overall the party was a great time. I have to say now, and I shall write it in bold font otherwise I will get in trouble, that this was down to Matt and his amazing planning! Between us we have put on two great parties now, and we have an Easter party to think of next year. For now though, I’m happy just to know that somewhere, someone is looking at a picture of me dressed as Santa with towels stuffed in my trousers.

Gap Year, Teaching in Japan