Japan Is Doomed

According to The Times Online;

As a thankless, recession-streaked 2009 dawns, Japan’s stressed-out workers are preparing to adopt a subversive new approach to the work-life balance: fibbing, skiving and knocking off early.

In other words, the Japanese workforce are finally employing a well tried and tested approach to work - not going! Hurrah! But things get better! Someone wrote a book about how to get off work! I wonder if it’s only come out now because the author was skipping work all the time? Yes, The Incumbent Salaryman’s Bumper Book of Excuses apparently helps you to keep up to 120 excuses ready to go at all times. Except if you’re missing work you should be at home and thus your boss can’t tell you’re looking at a book, but whatever.

Anyway, The Times article goes on to suggest that the excuses found in the book are, to the experienced skipper of work, pretty lame. Bizarre allergies, identical twins and weather phenomena in your area that only you noticed are apparently all inside the book. 

There are [also] excuses to cope with being accused of having an untidy desk (it’s good feng shui), of wearing an ill-matched tie (it was a present from the client I’m about to visit) and of yawning near the boss (hay fever medicine).

So this is all very well but it’s not good enough Japan! If we are going to have guides about how to escape working then they better be well written, as this is a very important idea to me! (Am I making myself really unemployable by writing this? Find out in a few years when I’m living on the street!)

So I have taken it upon myself to write a new, better book to help people avoid having to work. Strap yourself in, put on your best fake sick voice and then head back to bed; Mike’s guide is here. My book is called Wouldn’t it be sweet if we didn’t go to work today?! and here, dedicated readers, are some choice cuts;

Page 33

Page 83

Page 91

Pretty good ideas! If you are interesting in buying my book it only costs £600 and is available by coming to my house and asking nicely for it! 

Finally, I need a clever and snappy way to end this update. I can’t really think of one though. Man, I really could do with a way out. WOAH?! Apparently I’m in 1958 and, hey, get off my computer you cats! They’re stealing my computdiw! uhw owdwd? jwdwd! ahahadwhdwdwdiw!!!

Japan's Culture

It’s back! If you missed the first part, head here. Ok, here we go with number 6 to number 10!

Look at him go!
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Japan's Culture

As it’s currently dead cool to use English in brand names, school textbooks and just about everywhere else, it’s no surprise that a lot of bands in Japan have English names. Following on from this, it is of course no surprise that there are some pretty crazy ones out there. 

So I thought I would treat everyone to an exciting game of ‘Guess the Japanese Band Name’. Using my amazing art skills, I’ll illustrate the band name. If you can guess them, you’re a winner and everyone will love you and talk about you for ages. I’ll give you a hint: All five of the bands have pretty daft names, so don’t guess anything too logical or obvious.

So here’s a simple example. Apologies for the artwork in advance, but I was using my laptop trackpad, and coupled with my terrible art ability that made for some pretty terrible drawings. Again, I’m truly sorry.

Example

I wonder what it could be!
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Ok, so let’s get moving then. There are five bands, see if you can guess them all!

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Japan's Culture

Ok, Dir En Grey. Like them or hate them, Dir En Grey are probably the most successful Japanese Rock band since X Japan. Their last tour through Europe was hugely successful, and I went to see them when they played Sheffield. (Review Here) I came away from that concert amazed - their level of showmanship shocked me, and I started to look into their back catalogue.

Unfortunately, aside from one or two tracks, the two more recent Dir En Grey albums (’Marrow Of A Bone‘ & ‘Withering To Death‘) have way too much going on, and way way way too much ‘Argh Yargh I’m angry!’ shouting. However, the album prior to those, namely Vulgar, is a brilliant piece of work. I’d heartily recommend anyone interested in Japanese rock, or progressive rock in general, check Vulgar out.  

Anyway, onto Uroboros, then. 

The album cover

Sadly, I don’t consider myself a loopy “~SoOo Kawaii!!!~” nutcase, so I’m not going to bother talking about the band member’s comments on this album, or the history of making it, or their favourite breakfast cereals or whatever it is you people care about. 

Firstly, the two singles taken from the album, namely DOZING GREEN and GLASS SKIN, were released as singles in Japanese but appear on the album in English. I don’t really get why - vocalist Kyo clearly has yet to master English pronunciation. Respect to him for trying, but the English versions should have been bonus tracks, not the Japanese. That said, DOZING GREEN is a great song, and for someone just coming to Dir En Grey it might be a good place to start. GLASS SKIN is a sort of ballad I suppose - very laid back, and Kyo’s whispery childlike vocals work very nicely here.

The best song on the album is, without a doubt, 蜷局 (Toguro), which sort of sits between DOZING GREEN and GLASS SKIN - both melody and rock song at the same time. Whilst I’m not against heavier music, this album has all clean vocals (no shouting or growling), which I have to say I prefer as the clear vocals are far, far better.

They still have their angry American-style metal sound too, and if weird-beyond-belief heavy rock is your thing, you’ll enjoy 冷血なりせば (Reiketsu Nariseba) and the oddly named Bugaboo. If, like me, you like an interesting mix of the two, tracks like Red Soil and the 9 minute epic Vinushka will be right up your alley.

Ultimately then we have a great album on our hands. It’s so, so much better than their last two albums it’s not even funny, the production is brilliant and generally speaking the whole album is well written and entertaining. Well worth checking out if you can take the occasional vocal weirdness. There’s also a lot of use of mandolins and other traditional instruments here, all of which fit in nicely. Altogether a brilliant album.

Japan's Culture

Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea (崖の上のポニョ,)

So yes, the other day I saw the new Studio Ghibli film (maker of Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke and My Neighbour Totoro, which I reviewed) I liked it, but I honestly don’t think it’s up to par with his usual films, to be totally honest.

It’s much more of a kiddy movie, with no violence at all, and no really ‘evil’ characters (other than a grumpy grandmother, but she’s hardly evil like the demons in Mononoke).

Anyway, I thought I’d do my full review as a video, so here it is;

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Japan's Culture, Sheffield University, Video