I actually remembered not only to take my camera with me today, but also to update my Flickr page. So head over there and tell me what you think! I’m going to be uploading a lot this month, trying to catch up on all of them before the end of May, so keep on checkin’!
I have one new update lined up that I want to write this weekend, and another one in the planning stages, but I’m unsure if it will see the light of day. I know it’s been a bit of a slow month for updates, partly due to exams and partly because I’m really lazy, but obviously it’ll pick up quite a bit when I head over to Japan in 18 days. Wow, that’s not long.
Before I begin, the new look of Japan Is Doomed is now live, I hope you like it! Also my final exam for Japanese is tomorrow, this is just a short break from the revision. I promise.
Anyway, sometimes I wonder if you guys spot the title of my updates and worry if I’m entirely insane. Sometimes when flicking through the archives I can’t help but notice that a decent % of what I write about is, well, pretty strange. Well, whilst I’m not 100% sure, I’m confident this update may be one of the most offbeat yet.
According to his website, Paro is a ‘Seal Type Mental Commit Robot’. Oh dear, he’s obviously not an English teaching seal. Anyway, according to his creators;
Paro is the most interactive “healing pet” made to date, designed to be used for animal therapy without needing actual animals that require special attention.
That’s right! You don’t have to pay attention to him! Unlike dogs, cats or children, which require feeding at least once a month, Paro never whines for food or attention. He might ask for a little charging now and then, but that’s no big deal! I have to plug my dog in every few days or he gets angry, so what’s the difference?
I should probably point out now that Paro the Seal looks absoloutly terrifying.
I may have made a few adjustments to that image but it’s essentially the same. I know I wouldn’t be able to sleep comfortably with that thing in my house. Just look at it’s eyes!
Anyway, Paro is not just a disgustingcreepyhorriblemurderous cute seal, he’s got loads of different tricks! So I thought I’d provide a list here. Don’t worry, I’ve been totally unfair and made fun of each and every one, so that way if the creators want to sue me they’ve got lots of extra content to use in court!
So here’s a list of Paro’s amazing functions!
Has a diurnal rythym of morning, afternoon, and night That’s right! He can tell when you’re at work so he can invite all his seal friends around and they can trash your house with a noisy party. He can then work out what time the kids will get home so he can frame them for it.
Five kinds of sensors: tactile, light, audition, temperature, and posture Bonus sixth sensor: the smell of fresh blood.
Can recognize light and dark So it’s no good locking him in the cubhoard, he’ll know!
Can feel being stroked and the amount of pressure Can also apply much, much more pressure to your neck whilst you’re sleeping.
Understands when it is being held Does not understand when it is being held for murder charges.
Can recognize the direction of sound In the tundra, seals can hear you scream.
Recognizes its name, greetings, and praise Does not recognize “Get away from me you murderer!”
Remembers interactions and adapts So if you flee from it to the basement, he’ll block it up next time.
Imitates the voice of a real baby seal I didn’t know real seals could say “I’m coming for you”
Expresses feelings though noises, body movements, and facial expressions Also expresses feelings through copious drinking and picking fights with drunkards.
Wow! Just look at all the amazing things Paro can do! I think what the maker is trying to get across here is that Paro is the latest coming of the Terminator, and we’re all pretty much doomed. I’m guessing Sarah Connor is going to appear as an Albatross or something.
Well, we would all be in trouble, but there is one thing stopping Paro from taking over the entire world, and that’s his price. He currently retails at $6,699, which is £3,380 or ¥693,100. In other words he isn’t going to be able to take over the world anytime soon, because nobody can afford him. Unlucky Paro. Lucky us.
But whilst he may not be able to destroy us, he can still freak us out. I’m going to leave you today with a video of Paro in action. I’m not going to lie, either - it’s creepy. Don’t watch this late at night.
A while back I did an article called ‘The Horrors of jPop‘ which was great fun to write and was generally well received. It earned me a few hate mail but in general people enjoyed it, so I’ve wanted to do another ‘horrors’ update for a while. So you can imagine how happy I was when this popped up on Mainichi;
A female duo dressed as characters from Hayao Miyazaki’s animated film “Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind” qualified to represent Japan in the upcoming “World Cosplay Summit 2008″ after winning the Tokyo qualifying round on Sunday.
Now I’m not going to lie - I know basically nothing about the weird world of cosplay. I don’t watch any anime or read any manga, so I don’t recognise the characters these guys are dressing up as. Actually, if I posted pictures of them on this blog and made fun of them, it would be totally unfair hilarious. So without further ado;
So we start our tour of horrors on a great foot, and a fantastic pair of ears. These guys must be able to hear fake tan salesmen coming from miles away. I can’t make out what it says on those little wooden things she’s holding up, but I assume it’s instructions to help you turn your shower curtain into a cool outfit, just like these guys did.
Next we have the super cardboard robot. In case you’re wondering about the horn, his mother was a unicorn. If you’re wondering about the giant cardboard knees, his father was…er… well I don’t know. So why did this guy make it into the update? One word. Chafing.
Apparently this giant vegetable is from some Studio Ghibli film but regardless if I walked into that room and saw that I’d be out in a flash. Notice that it is in the process of devouring a spider. That girl is awfully close considering it’s a giant cauliflower with eight eyes.
The brightly colored twins spot another free hair dye sample. The girl on the left has gone for the Windows 3.1 teal screen saver look, always a bold choice. She’s easily beaten by her friend, however, who has gone for the always popular ‘rabbit goes insane, dresses like milk carton’ look.
You can’t quite see it in this photo, but this performer’s just taken their hands off an electric fence. Ok, I do know who this character is meant to be, I’m not that far behind. It’s Pikachu.
Cauliflower girl has managed to escape from her killer plant, and everyone who’s dressed as oddly as she is rushes to celebrate. Another safe day in cosplay land.
Ok, I had far, far too much fun writing those comments. Sorry if they were too mean. If there’s one of these conventions on in the summer when I’m out there, I’m totally going with my camera. I promise.
They were wrong! That is a photo of the first page of my 24th Japanese composition! It’s finally all done and dusted, and I’ll never have to write another one again! (Until second year)
Anyway, back in Semester one I used to translate my essays, which was quite good fun because I can go back now, read them, and laugh at how much I used to complain. So I’m going to post this one too, simply so I can look back on it in a few months time and have yet another chuckle at how naive I always was. If you spot any errors, do post them in the comments
I’m not going to translate this one so I can return to it in a few days time and use it as translation revision. My finals are in about nine days, so that’ll be pretty essential practice. I hope you guys can enjoy reading it, though! I’m aware it’s not very long, but it takes a long time to write!
A traditional dancing ceremony in which baby girls ride piggyback on dancers was held in the Sagata district of Akune, Kagoshima Prefecture, with about 400 people taking part.
Alright, so it’s not really that sad a story. Baby girls bouncing around on dancers, hopefully not crying and everyone having a good time. It’s much happier for this kids than the crying sumo competition, that’s for sure!
However…
Due to declining birth rates, the number of babies taking part has declined each year, and in the ceremony on Monday, there was only one baby — 6-month-old Kaho Fukuda.
That poor girl! All that pressure and expectation to perform well! The festival is for baby girls born in the Sagata district, and apparently she was the only one for the festival. The poor kid. Apparently she rode on the back of her parents and grandmother, as well as other participants. Sounds like a case of “pass the baby” here. If you guys want a kid, have one! Hey, that could be a slogan to stop Japan’s declining birth rate.
Kaho rode on the backs of her parents and other participants for over an hour. After looking around at the cameras focused on her, she fell fast asleep, bringing a peaceful mood to the event venue.
Stuck on a dancing back for an hour. I think I’d fall asleep too. Good for Kaho, I say. So as a tribute to the one and only performer this year, here’s her picture. While she was still awake.
