From Japan Today;

Thirty-two runners were stung by honey bees while taking part in a marathon event in Saga on Sunday, local fire department officials said. The runners were treated at a hospital, but their injuries are not serious, the officials said.

Well that’s just plain unlucky, to be honest. I’m terrified of bees, but to be honest would you keep running if you saw this ahead of you;

Now as everyone knows, being covered in bees is the third most scary animal to be covered in, after spiders and jellyfish in that order. So in a way, you can look at this news and go “Oh well, at least they weren’t jellyfish”. I hope that’s what the doctors told the injured runners. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. We had a bunch of runners yesterday who were attacked by a team of jellyfish.”

Anyway, on with the news story;

The 32 runners participating in the half-marathon race were attacked by a swarm of honey bees at around 10:50 a.m. Sunday when they were around the 11-kilometer point near an apiary, according to event organizers. Many of those who were stung dropped out of the race, but the overall event, featuring races of varying distances, continued as a makeshift route diverted trailing runners from the area where the bees appeared, the organizers said.

What I love about this story is that the event wasn’t cancelled. The organisers just created a new route and everyone went around the swarm. Brilliant. In England the race would have been cancelled, the organisers sued, and the bees deported from the country, or jailed.

So why, Mike, are you posting this story? It’s not very interesting I know, but it allows me to post the very first ever Youtube video on Japan Is Doomed! Woohoo! I really wanted to post one a while ago, and I have a great update lined up with a handful of videos. But I think to kick it off we need a really great performer. So who better than the legend Eddie Izzard?! I know the link is incredibly tenuous, but here he is discussing being covered in bees, just like our poor runners;

So, to conclude, a quick run through of facts;

1. People get stung alot but people keep running anyway. Humanity 1, Animals 0.
2. Jellyfish much more dangerous than bees.
3. Eddie Izzard very entertaining.
4. Mike teases with promise of funny update. Makes a change. (Hohoho).

So was this really just a thinly veiled Youtube test? Yes Of course not.

Via Reuters;

Ryuki Omura, a 16-year-old Japanese high school student, has become the first nationwide pen-spinning champion with such slick maneuvers, a group devoted to the pastime said on Monday.

Here he is, the champion, doing what he does best (other than ignoring his English teacher, I’m sure!) Apparently Mr. Omura here has dominated Japan’s first pen spinning tournament to become the “sport”’s ringleader. Congratulations to him. I’m sure he has a future ahead of him, spinning not only pens, but also new progressive ideas like pencils or, for the thrill of danger, trying to spin a pen in my English lesson. (Grr!)

Edit: His videos are available, and they are amazing.

But the real question is, where does one go after dominating the world of pen spinning? What other sports can Ryuki move into? Well, worry not Omuramaniacs, I’ve done my research. I think an obvious first move would be into a championship for another game that goes on in school alot. Janken. (Rock Paper Scissors). I had a good laugh looking at the advanced techniques of the World RPS Society website;

Chain Gambits
“Chain Gambits” are one way of expanding Gambit strategies. A Chain Gambit is a series of five throws, or two Gambits joined by a common throw. For instance, “PSPSS” is a Chain Gambit built from Scissor Sandwich and Paper Dolls. By shifting one Gambit by one throw, a Chain Gambit can prevent your opponent from obtaining multiple successive victories even if she predicts which Gambit you’re using next.

Wow, and here was me just thinking it was to decide who had to go first in an English speaking exercises. How wrong I am!

If that’s not exciting enough for Ryuki, he could look to his own nation for some inspiration. As well as the countless gaming contests that run throughout the country, he might want to train up a little monster for the beetle sumo tournaments;

Over 1000 elementary school-age beetle trainers took part in the event. In addition to sumo matches, it also had a stick-climbing race.

He’d be against elementary school kids (huge advantage there, he can use his life experience to train his beetle) and if it all goes wrong in the fight he can try stick climbing. I assume it’s the beetles that do the climbing though.

Somehow, though, I feel like all these options just might not be interesting enough. That’s why I’ve come up with the ultimate sport. Presenting;

Super 100m Beetle Back Janken Sumo Pen Spinning

That’s right! Who can travel 100m on their beetle the fastest, whilst dressed like a sumo and playing Rock Paper Scissors whilst spinning a pen?! Will it be the mighty Ryuki, who’s pen spinning is the finest in all the land? Maybe a current sumo champion, although the beetle will have it’s work cut out. Maybe one of the schoolchild beetle trainers can train some sort of super beetle, although that’s just one step away from an army of angry beetles invading the world…

One last thing from the pen-spinning thing;

“If we can find a sponsor, we want to take this contest international.”

I’ll donate 500 yen just to see if England could actually win something.