That’s right! It’s a long return to Japan! With some generous help from my parents and relatives and a great deal of eating nothing but cup Ramen from myself, I’ve managed to scrape together enough money to fly over to Japa and not die from malnutrition! I discussed a few ideas for things I want to do this year, and I’m still hungry for more information and suggestions so please do drop a comment if you have any ideas. I’m going to be staying with the school I taught at in 2006-2007, and will be able to attend a few of their events, such as sports day and the graduation ceremony. I’m going to make my camera an even closer friend than last time, and blog even harder and more frequently. I promise.

So the countdown begins. I make it just 99 days until I fly off from London, so exactly 100 (or thereabouts) before I touch down in Tokyo!

I don’t really have much more interesting information so I’m going to leave this as a nice short post. Expect usual service to resume when I can be bothered soon.

Update: The blog post discussed in this update has been changed. For more information, check the comments section.

I want to preface this update with the following statement;

This update is not designed to cause arguements or drama between anyone. I am simply addressing a very real, very distressing problem, using evidence I have seen myself on the internet. I am aware this update will probably clash with a lot of people’s opinions and I would like to welcome anyone to voice their opinion in the comments section in a mature manner.

Right, with that out of the way, I want to discuss today the problem of what foreigners think of the Japanese. Obviously I’m not talking about all foreign visitors, and to be honest I would hope this is a small majority, but in the last few days I’ve seen two different articles that I feel are not just misinformed, but entirely wrong.

Two days ago, Neil Duckett wrote on his blog an update called Amae And Japanese Girls. I spotted the title via Japan Soc and had to find out what he had to say. I enjoy his blog and plenty of his updates are very useful and interesting, but this one was beyond unacceptable from an established Japan blog writer.

One thing i’ve noticed since moving to Japan and something Japanese girls themselves have mentioned to me is the level of maturity, or lack thereof, in Japanese girls. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, not by any stretch, truth be known that’s actually what many Japanese men and also many Gaijin love about Japanese Girls.

What. Are you seriously proposing that “many gaijin” love the fact they think they can push these grown up kids around? Exactly what message is this meant to bring across? “Hey guys, if you don’t want an adult relationship, head to Japan”? Even if some Japanese girls reckoned they or other girls lack maturity does not make it a reality, nor does it make it an acceptable opinion.

Neil then goes on to talk about Amae, a Japanese term relating to emotional development and maturity. But wait!

Also firstly let me say, my thoughts on this subject have NO connection whatsoever to the 2 Japanese Friends i was out with last night should they happen to read this!

So you’re prepared to label an entire gender of a nation with this term but not close friends? It seems to me you realise this is an unacceptable statement, and want to cover your tracks incase someone takes offence, which is pretty likely considering the following other golden quotes taken from the update;

Japanese men like younger women, there’s no secret there, i’m quite partial to them myself. It’s widely known a girl over the age of 26 will struggle to find a partner and i’ve heard of the term ”Christmas Pudding” often used to describe them. I’d hazard a guess there’s a Japanese version of this which it was actually derived from but i can’t be certain. As a foreigner giving mid 30’s a good shove i have no problem whatsoever targetting what’s left on the shelf in the their late 20’s!

So basically, you’re saying “I think Japanese men like younger women. I’ve heard a few people use some rediculous term to describe older single women and I’m using this misinformed belief to lust after girls younger than I am.”

I don’t have a problem with people dating people older or younger than themselves as long as it’s legal, but this is a disgusting statement. You make yourself look immature and desperate, and you are affixing a horrible label to an entire nation of people. There is a big difference between “I know or have heard of some Japanese men who like younger girls” and “All Japanese men like younger girls” and you need to realise this. I know plenty of people who would be utterly horrified by these rediculous beliefs.

Japanese men like their girls submissive, there’s very little room in Japanese society for a stronger female character, not if they plan on getting married anyway. How else would the Japanese man live his Salary Man existance if he had a wife that expected him home to do his share of the household duties?

Here we delve into the history books and draw upon a history of female subjegation. There’s probably some weight to this statement, however the last sentence establishes that Neil thinks this is a good thing. I have a suggestion, Neil. Why not pop into a nearby business and ask a couple of the women why they aren’t busy getting married or cooking for their husband?

Even more worrying than the post itself is the comments the update has got. Plenty of “I learned a lot here!” replies suggest people are reading this and believing it. Please don’t. Have some sense and realise Japan, like every other nation, is made up of a massive variety of people, and blanket terms and blind stereotyping is never suitable.

I want to wrap this up now because this is getting too long and I want people to read and understand this. I hope this inspires bloggers to think more carefully, and causes everyone with some of these racist and sexist stereotypes to wake up and join the adult world. Of course, I can’t control what anyone writes on their blog, but I hope common sense would win through in the end.

The second Japanese film I am studying as part of my “East Asian Cinema” module is Juzo Itami’s 1985 comedy Tampopo. (The first, Rashomon, I reviewed here) So I thought I’d treat you guys to another exciting review. So settle down and prepare yourself – this is one weird film.

The plot follows the story of Ms. Tampopo (which means Dandelion in Japanese), on her quest to reinvent her shoddy Ramen bar as the culinary epicentre of… well, Ramen. The two men in the far left of the above photo, Goro and Gun, are truck drivers who stop on their way to a delivery. There they meet Tampopo’s son who is being beaten up by his classmates. They eat at the bar and voice their dislike for her noodles, which results in a fight breaking out with one of her regulars. The next day Goro decides he’ll help Tampopo turn the place into a great eatery. I am aware this makes no sense as he just got beaten up but this film is a lot better if you don’t question it. Or use logic.

That said, it doesn’t sound so strange yet. That’s until you consider the scenes that have absoloutly no bearing on the plot whatsoever. As I’m not a film critic I’ve probably missed some of the hidden underlying meanings, but here is a rundown of a few of the more bizarre cutaways that I couldn’t find any meaning for.

If you plan to watch this film, you might want to skip over this part.

• The film opens with what looks like an LA Gangster and his mistress sitting in a cinema. He then tells the camera he hates it when people rustle sweet papers in the cinema, a point he then proves by starting a fight with someone doing just that. Later in the film he and his mistress are involved in some rather steamy action involving some cake, syrup, some live mollusc things, and later on an egg yolk. I don’t want to expand on the egg yolk because it has to be seen to be believed.
• The same gangster then later goes down to the beach (for no reaso) where he spots a girl no older than 15 catching oysters. He buys one off her and proceeds to cut his lip trying to eat it out of it’s shell, so she cuts it out for him then licks the blood off his lips whilst her family watch from the sea. Don’t ask

• Towards the end of the film the gangster is shot by an unidentified killer and, with his dying moments, explains to his distraught mistress how eating yams out of a wild boar’s intestine is divine.
• A store clerk spends a good three minutes chasing a grandmother around his supermarket as she keeps squeezing his food.
• Six businessmen all order food in a fancy restaurant. The five older members all order the same thing, the young intern then orders in fluent French, causing the other businessmen’s faces to turn bright red.
• Goro recruits the following people to help him in his quest;
  • A homeless doctor.
  • The chef of a man who’s life he saved when he ate too much food.
  • The man he had a fight with.
• A man runs home to his dying wife, with his kids crying around her. As he arrives he shouts “Don’t die! You have to live! Say something! Sing! Cook dinner! Cook our dinner!” The dying woman then gets up, makes dinner, serves it and dies in front of her family. The man’s reply? “Eat up, it’s the last meal she made.”
• A man goes to a dentist and has some work done, resulting in the doctor and two nurses reeling from a mysterious smell coming from his mouth. As he leaves, one of the nurses begins to dance even though no music is playing throughout the scene.
• In the final scene, the camera pans from Goro and Gun leaving in their truck to a woman breastfeeding a baby and the credits roll. This is the first time either the woman or the child have been in the film.

You can stop skipping now!

I warned you this film had some… odd moments. But despite that it is a hilareous film, and I 100% reccomend it to anyone who doesn’t want a “serious” film. It’s funny and weird in equal amounts. Most of the main characters are suprisingly well developed considering they are jostling for screentime with strange grandmothers and an irritable gangster. Just don’t try writing an essay on it.

Wait, that’s what I have to do. Oh dear

I’ve finalised my travel details for returning to Japan, so hang on for such exciting details as my flights and how drunk I plan to get. (Very).

Finally, happy birthday to Jamaipanese!

Remember way back, when I posted those pictures of me looking like a bit of a total fool in my Shorinji kit? Or in a Yukata? Or a Kimono? Well, fan favourite “Mike doing weird stuff” is back with a whole new theme; traditional dancing!

This year’s annual International Culture Evening, held by the University Of Sheffield, will be on April 19th, and will be followed on the 20th by Japan Day. At both of these events I, along with a group of other scared individuals, will be performing a traditional fisherman’s dance from Hokkaido called Soran Bushi. (ソーラン節)

As we only just started to learn it, I can’t really provide any photographs or video evidence of how terrible amazing our dance troupe is yet, so instead I thought I’d provide you with two fun alternatives. The first is the song we will be dancing to:

Sorry, not available anymore :(

But wait, there’s more! The Japan Society did this dance two years ago and uploaded a video of it to Youtube! Enjoy!

I’ll try to take my camera to the next practice. If the other dancers will allow me to take photos (they won’t).