I’m now reading that Duckett may not be a native speaker of English. If this is so, I am more sympathetic than I initially was. However, I must firmly advise him: should you tackle another difficult issue that deals with generalizations and blanket statements, have a native English speaker help you work on the tone of your post so you may discuss with proper respect given to your topic of choice (in this case, Japanese women and the idea of amae).

A few phrases like, “in my experience”, “of those I have met”, “if I were to generalize”, “in my opinion”, “one could say”, etc. Phrases like this would surely have softened the jagged, piercing text presented to readers in your post. The elbow-nudging, eyebrow-raising objectification could have be left out entirely.

E.g., “As a foreigner giving mid 30’s a good shove i have no problem whatsoever targetting what’s left on the shelf in the their late 20’s!” What is put on a shelf? Food is put on a shelf. Things you buy in a store are put on a shelf. Guess who isn’t on a shelf? Japanese women.

This is called objectification. Which my mother always told me is a strong indicator of sexism.

Also, what is this “child like run”? To me, this just screams of the old schoolyard bullying: “You run like a girl!” I am a woman and the way I run is not an invitation to stereotype me. Neither is the way I speak.

Men tend to look back at what their home life was like when they pick a mate. If their mom was a submissive women, then they would tend to go for that type of women. Also its very natural to want younger women as it is at least for men a trophy or a great prize to have one. Lets be frank here, show me a man who doesn’t like a nice young woman and I’ll likely be seeing a corpse or a half dead man. lol

Shamless plugs to ROK Drop for finding Neil’s blog and to Neil for finding this blog.

Peace

31 & 32. Neil: Yeah, originally I was worried this post would just cause problems but I think it’s kind of given everyone new perspectives. I think I’m going to try to be more understanding and read between the lines and see what the author is really saying.

Oh please, “misogyny/objectification garbage I see” ….. come here and live life for longer than your12 month sojourn and see things are different to what your study group tells you.

“Amae is an outdated theory from the 70s that has been pretty much proven worthless in modern academia” this sort of statement is ridiculous and just shows you’re looking to the wrong source for “answers” to what are just my observations.

Anyway, keep up the interesting blog Mike, i look forward to reading more in the future and good luck with your trip back here in 80 odd days time.

Firstly, “That “Amae” is a term created by academics has little relevance to this discussion.” is an odd statement considering the article in question contains a full paragraph defining it and making it relevent to the point.

I’m not saying the “Lolita Complex” does not exist, nor am I saying in it’s essence it’s a bad thing. Obviously it has bad connotations but it could be totally innocent and healthy, to a certain extent. What I am saying is Not All Japanese Men Like Younger Women. This makes statements like “Maybe because Japanese men do like younger women.” problematic and, ultimately, wrong. I just wish people would make that distinction. You’d be annoyed if someone said “Well, there’s a lot of interracial marriage in Japan, and statistics show it’s White Caucasian Men and Japanese women, so ALL WHITE MEN LIKE JAPANESE GIRLS”. That doesn’t make sense. I don’t see why this one doesn’t and yet the other one does.

That “Amae” is a term created by academics has little relevance to this discussion. Its just a word used to describe some of the behaviour he has seen. And is perfectly plausable that academics have less knowledge than a normal person of the behaviour Neil was talking about.

I don’t have time to respond to every point but I will for this one. Neil writes “Japanese men like younger women” Which you seem to have taken some great issue with. Despite what you believe this is well recognised in Japanese society and in many cases true. Lolita complex is more pronounced amoung Japanese people than in any other nation. There is a reason so many shops sell lolicon material – because it sells well – and why does it sell well? Maybe because Japanese men do like younger women. Not to mention, is it really such an insult? Most men like beautiful women, younger women tend to more beautiful than older women. Thats not an insult thats biology.

I honestly am proud of my writing and it’s rare that I tackle such a subject. But if you honestly believed someone was treating a race inappropriately, are you telling me you’d address the situation in a light hearted manner?