I’m sure you’ll be devastated to hear that new rules coming into Japan in the summer will stop you from making calls or blocking the rain whilst cycling. According to Asahi (the news company, not the beer);

Proposed revisions this spring will ban cyclists from holding an umbrella, listening to music, gabbing on the phone and riding in other reckless ways, sources said.

I can see the logic here. I wouldn’t call listening to music “reckless” if you have the volume down low. I move an extra rule be added “If the rider is listening to C-ute, he or she deserves what’s coming. Bonus points to be awarded to drivers for swerving to hit said rider.”

The article goes on to state;

“Triple-riding,” an unsafe practice in which a rider carries two children on a bicycle in attached front and rear seats, will also be prohibited.

Triple-riding will be punishable by a fine of up to 20,000 yen. Warnings will be issued for other violations.

Quite a hefty fine for providing two people with a helpful lift. Notice that whilst the article doesn’t mention “double-riding”, it also doesn’t talk about other multiples of people on one bike. My theory here is to bring enough people on the bike to avoid the rule. If all I get is a warning for balancing fourteen people on one bike then so be it. Notice it also states nothing about animals. Finally some slack for the many giraffe owners of Tokyo.

Not a particularly exciting news article so far, huh? Don’t worry. It’s all about to change;

Other more minor infringements, such as constantly ringing a bicycle bell while riding on a crowded sidewalk, will also be discouraged.

Yes! YES! Yes! Finally! There is nothing worse than walking along a sidewalk and having some idiot come up behind you and ring their bell every ten seconds. I seem to remember strolling down the pavement with friends in Oji and, upon being annoyed by some bell happy fool, forming a one person line in front of them. At least now I can rugby tackle them and perform a citizen’s arrest.

But wait! It gets better!

Under the proposed revisions, bicycles will in general be required to be ridden in road lanes, not on pedestrian sidewalks.

I don’t know if I should consider this an early birthday present (March 29th!) or a late Christmas present, but either way this is the best news I’ve heard in a while. Bikes were the absolute scourge of the pedestrian; swinging out in front of you left, right and centre. More than once I considered jamming a stick into the spokes of some annoying kid’s stupidly expensive bike.

So there you are. One-nil to us walkers. But what of the unicyclists?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 9th, 2008 at 11:55 am and is filed under Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.