Happy New Year everyone! (Well nearly). Here’s to 2008; the year I will return to Japan, the Olympics will rock China and Amy Winehouse will inevitably go the way of the Spears and shave her horrible hair off.

As is customary, I thought I’d make a few New Year’s Resolutions, starting with the most obvious;

1. I will update this blog more
Even though my course is killing me, I’m determined to try to double the output of Japan Is Doomed. I’m going to write more “comedy” articles where I try desperately to be funny, as in my recent °C-ute article. Some time ago I promised a few updates about tricks for remembering Japanese language, and I’ll endeavour to write those in the new year too.
I also promise to settle on a look. I’ve been changing it quite often recently whilst I find a look that I’m happy with – I quite like the current one but there are some glaring errors that I may have to switch because of. I don’t want to say what they are because then you’ll go find them and be annoyed.

In the back of my mind, I know that no post will ever generate as much interest as these photos, particularly in my email inbox. Thus, my second resolution is to;

2. Take Up Tae Kwon Do
Sadly, Sheffield University doesn’t offer a Shorinji course, so I chose the martial art that looks the coolest. After all, that’s what’s really important, right? I’ll be high kicking, screaming and limping into 2008.

My final resolution is incredibly predictable, but I have to put it;

3. Practice Kanji Harder
Which reminds me…I’m putting off studying right now to write this.

Comment with your resolutions!

Congatulations to °C-ute for winning “Best New Artist” at the recent 49th Japan Record Awards. I was really impressed to see a band who’s ages range from 11 to 15 win an award that is hotly contested by many bands. When I heard the news, I thought it would be appropriate to head over to Youtube and listen to one of their songs. The first song that popped up on the Youtube search was “Ookina Ai de Motenashite”. Whilst I’m not totally sure if this translation is 100% correct, I believe it means “We’re going to kill music for three minutes”. Or something.

Here’s the video. Watch it, stem the bleeding from your ears then return. I want us to be on the same page here.

I did warn you. This is quite literally the worst music ever.

PURE EVIL

These are children! Why are their parents allowing them to become figures of international loathing? Beloved by Japanese school kids but absoloutly nobody else! Imagine if you were a parent of one of these kids and you wanted to take them on holiday. Where are you going to take them? If you visit England you can rest assured I’m going to tape you to a rocket and blast you to the moon. Even then I still wouldn’t be able to get the horror of Ookina Ai de Motenashite out of my head. If I formed a band with my friends asnd made music like this my parents would shoot me. I’d thank them for it. Frankly this lapse of judgement has gone on long enough. Stop the insanity!

If you enjoyed the song, please leave a comment including your name, address and what time you’d like me to come round and beat you with a spanner. Many thanks.

I just finished watching the BBC’s Secret Wilderness. Whilst I can’t say I’m a huge fan of the program this particular episode was about Japan’s nature and wildlife so I made a special effort to watch it. Ok, that’s a lie too, I just happened to catch it.

Overall the program was reasonably good even if it was as guilty as most of the travel programs when it comes to “Wow, look at the Japanese! Look at how crazy the Japanese are!”. That said, presenter Steve Backshall put in a lot more effort than most presenters. No on screen translator was present, and he used some Japanese to converse with the locals. Even his rundown of Japanese food wasn’t the usual “Fish! All they eat is fish!” rubbish that The Discovery Channel seem so desperate to tell us.

According to the BBC;

Steve Backshall discovers Japan’s wilderness, from majestic cranes dancing in subzero temperatures in the North to giant salamanders hanging out near the rice paddies in the South. Along the way, Steve boils an egg by volcano, shares his hot spring with a flock of swans and meets some feisty Macaque monkeys on the beach.

Look at that! A whole paragraph without a reference to underwear vending machines or anime! Although this program is obviously about nature, Backshall’s conversations with locals, despite being in the most basic Japanese, went some way to showing Japanese people as they are, not as TV presenters want them to be.

The very end of the show looked at a tribe of wild Macaque monkeys. Very cute and so forth but right at the end Backshall told a story about how one young female monkey learned how to separate nuts from sand by throwing them into the sea. The rest of the tribe copied and soon all the monkeys could do it – and new monkeys would copy and learn how to do the skill. “This is what we call culture.” Quite a nice way to sum up sociological development, I think.

Hopefully this is the first in a chain of more realistic programs on Japan. No more Super Japan! Wacky Crazy Country! Wooaaah Asia!! nonsense, please.

Update: UK Residents can watch this program on the BBC’s 7 Day iPlayer service. Thanks to Three Legged Cat for the heads up.

God, how the time flies by! Just one year ago today I was only four months through my gap year! Japan Is Doomed is now sixteen months old, too! That means it’s nearly old enough to walk! (I think, I don’t know, I don’t have any kids)

My apologies, but as this week’s essay contains quite a lot of personal information about me, I’d rather not post it on this blog. That means that next week’s essay, assuming we are set one, will be the last one I write before my exams, and will be the final one I post on this blog. Whilst it has been great fun translating them for you guys to read, and then enjoying the “You are utterly insane” emails I get on a somewhat shockingly regular basis, I want to move away from relying on my work for content for Japan Is Doomed.

I’m going to start a new series of updates which introduce grammar points that I found very useful or very difficult. I’m doing this for two reasons – the first is to create a useful resource for anyone wishing to learn Japanese. The second reason is it will help me solidify my understanding of grammatical points.

The winter is nearly over, and as a result I will be able to go outside without freezing to death. I really want to get around Sheffield with my camera at some point and take lots of photos of the city I call home. I really should do one set now and one set in the summer. Sheffield, despite it’s size, is a city with plenty of nature, which is really nice in the summer, so I shall endevour to get some photos during the two nice days a year we experience in the north of England.

In the meantime, here is a lovely song by Japanese rock band L’Arc~En~Ciel. It’s called Daybreak’s Bell and is the themetune to some anime program. I don’t know which one, but the song is fantastic, which is a suprise L’Arc~En~C’iel usually play boring Dad-rock.

As I said, next week is my final week at university, which means more frequent updates! Hurrah!