I’m sitting in my room at my university accommodation. I’ve finished my study for the night, but it’s only 9.45 so I can’t really climb into the giant slab of rock that is called a “bed” around here. So with time to kill, I decide to look over some of the old posts on this blog. Remember some of the best times of my gap year. Of course, whilst there’s those great memories which I love looking back over, there’s also a sense of longing. God how I want to go back there again. Whilst I do have plans to do that in the summer (more information in a later post when it’s available), it really is kind of hard to just read my old posts over and over. I feel now like I failed to get across some of the stuff I experienced properly. So I want to stave off the nostalgia attack I’m having with a few photos that I “forgot” to post over the last year, and try to dredge up a few memories about why they exist, what they mean, and why I never posted them.

The first one I want to post is one of the oldest photographs I have. Actually, it was the very first photo I took in Japan, taken on the 9th of September, my first day in Japan. The reason I never posted it is because it looks rubbish. But I think it has a lot of significance. Sadly, the camera I took it with was not very powerful, and a result it’s a blur, and it was bright blue. I’ve made it black and white here and done what I could to restore it.

We were on our way from Narita airport to a hotel where we would meet the volunteers taking us on our tour of Tokyo. I remember listening to the two Japanese people on the seats near me speaking fluent Japanese, and knowing the tiny amount I’d picked up in a few night classes wasn’t going to cut it here. I remember trying Pocari Sweat, a Japanese soft drink somewhat like Lucozade but not fizzy, for the first time. I also remember thinking “Wheeeeeeeeeeee! I’m in Japaaaaaaaan!” although the cruel working hours I started just three days later quickly beat that feeling out of me…

…nah, only kidding. I loved it.

Next up is a photo I took at Leon’s Birthday party. Leon, who beat me up, took me to see the racing and also runs a great Japan related forum and blog, was one of my closest friends in Japan.

The lady is his wife, Saori, who shared the birthday. They were some of my closest friends in Japan, and I owe them an awful lot of thanks and beer. If I can ever coax them over to England I’ll get them incredibly drunk. Then we’re even!

I wanted to finish this update with a photo from what I think was my favourite day of the entire year – the school sports day. I wrote a lot of updates about it, but I never posted this photo;

Again it’s not a great photo but it does sum up the entire gap year. I have absolutely no idea what is going on here. None of the people in the photo have any any idea what is going on. It’s a lot of people doing a lot of things in a very small space. Furthermore, every time I look at this photo my brain goes “Oh not again” and shuts down until I stop thinking about it. Just like the good old days.

So there you are. Three photos from the Mike archives. Who knows, I might do another post like this again in the future, the next time I get enough free time to do so. About 2011, then…

Sorry for my recent absence, but my course has really started to pick up momentum, and as a result I find myself spending less and less time doing enjoyable things like writing my blog, drinking with friends or pursuing hobbies and much more time either studying frantically, or rocking back and forth in a gibbering wreck.

Last week was the first “real” week of work, at least as far as word memorization goes. So far we’ve only had about 20-30 words a week to learn, last week we got about thirty new nouns and adjectives, around 45 new verbs, 10 kanji and a lot of new grammar to learn. It was absolute murder, but I think I’ve got it all down now, as long as I remember that tsukurimasu is to make.

I completed my composition homework, a letter inviting a friend to a party, although not in my usual insane fashion. No jumping on the bed this week, sadly. Hopefully this coming homework will leave lots of scope for me to go completely berserk with new verbs and old sandwiches, and I can post yet more evidence to put me into an insane asylum for the rest of my days.

Anyway, having arrived at the study hall at about 3.30, I’ve written up my essay, and it’s now nearly 5. I’m pretty confident I’m going to be here until about 7pm, writing out the symbols we have to learn this week over and over again for the test tomorrow. So who knows, I may get into that asylum quicker than expected. On Wednesday there is the Japan Society Halloween party, which is somewhat depressing as I haven’t got a costume yet. Apparently there is some horrific forfeit for those who don’t bother, so I may have to mug a trick or treater before I head over. I don’t really have any exciting news either, although we have a few days off in a few weeks time, which I may use to visit all my friends in Leeds. Until then I imagine the most exciting updates this blog will see may include “An intricate description of a day in the life of my feet” or “Japanese Milk and why it’s gross”. That said, I am still looking for a new “look” for this blog, so you should definitely obsessively tell all your friends to visit this thing every day.

Until then, then…

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When in Japan, head to the nearest bar and get drunk out of your mind with your friends.

- Me

It seems that the one activity I spent the most time performing in Japan was moving a beer glass from the table to my mouth. Beer has become a staple part of the Japanese “diet”, and I believe it’s important to be able to make the right decision when it comes to trying it out.

Ideally, of course, these beers should be consumed in Japan, simply because over there they are served ice cold in huge glasses. If you can’t do that, try to get it served to you as cold as you possibly can. If you really want to enhance the taste, make sure it’s a warm evening and you are exhausted. Don’t drink any other alcohol beforehand because that first drink of ice cold brew is what you’ve been waiting for all day. Anyway, without further ado;

1. Makers Of Beer

The three big players are Kirin, Sapporo and Asahi. The fourth is Suntory but they’re not so great so I’m leaving them out. No matter where you go in Japan you’re going to be able to get at least one of these. Indeed, when ordering beer, it’s normal to say “生ビール” (Nama-Biiru) which literally means “raw beer”, and then sit back and wait whilst one of these delicious beverages is brought to you.

“But Mike! I demand choice over which beer I receive! I shall not be blindly handed Kirin when I desire Asahi!” I hear you cry. Well firstly, if you like Asahi more than Kirin there’s something wrong with you but more importantly; tough luck. I’m not sure if it’s a deal the companies have with the bars or if it’s just luck but usually each place only serves one type of beer.

Anyway, despite my blatant bias towards Kirin, I have some very important findings to share. It has come to my attention, after many hours of painstaking experiments, involving complex graphs, Bunsen burners and some mild splashing, all of these beers are basically the same.

Now before you start raging, I’m not saying they taste the same. They don’t, and I think the subtle different is probably really obvious if you’re some obsessive beer nut. You’ll just have to let this one go – the beers are all 99% identical.

2. How To Serve

These beers need to be two things; really really cold and really really big. There’s not much to add here, and the various places you can buy them usually do a good job with this. If you go to a party, you’ll be given 4-5 large bottles of beer and expected to pour them out for the other people around the table, and they will do the same thing to you. Be warned – if you finish your glass, a crafty Japanese person sitting near you will refill it, often without telling you. I’ve got more than slightly drunk a few times thanks to one particularly sneaky Japanese teacher I used to work with who was incredibly skilled at filling glasses silently.

3. When To Drink

Right, this is the most tricky part and is the reason I wrote this update. Basically, you can’t just sit down and start a-chugging if you’re at a party. Firstly, whoever is the most senior, normally a man, will give a short speech about how glad he is everyone is here and other boring things. This step can last anywhere between 11 seconds, if he’s drunk, and 8 minutes. There are two reasons he might give a long speech – it may be an important event, or he may just hate you. Regardless, step two is the same as “Cheers!” in English, except you say かんぱい(Kanpai!) Then it’s drinking time. Again, don’t just down it all as someone will refill it, and soon you shall become drunk, and many will derive humour from your intoxicated situation.

So there you are then. Getting drunk in Japan is very easy, and I advise you do it often. Drinking with your colleagues is considered incredibly important, as it serves as a bonding exercise. Just be wary – the more senior members of your business have some sort of magical power over the younger employees, dictating how much they can drink, and they will automatically assume this power over you. Just let it come. How bad can the hangover be, anyway?!

Well, you’re probably wondering where on earth I’ve been. If you’ve visited the site over the last couple of days, you’ll probably have had your eyes assaulted by any number of horrific colour schemes. The reason being I wanted a new look for the site. For over a year now JapanIsDoomed has been white, grey and black and I finally got bored of that and went crazy with blues and greens.

In considerably more exciting news, I’ve managed to move all the old posts from the last year into this blog. That means this is the only site you need to visit to find all about my amazing exploits in Asia! How exciting! I’ve tried to organize the Categories section a little better, making it easier to find various different types of update. Some of the very old posts may appear a little broken at the moment, with photographs all over the place. That’s because they were designed for a different style, and when I have time I’ll get round to doing some maintenance on them.

To save this being a boring “general update” sort of thing, I thought I’d post a transcript and translation of a recent essay I wrote for Japanese class – entitled “My Room”. It’s hardly the most exciting thing in the world, but it does explain the title of this update.

わたしのへやは、ちいさくて、たいへんきたないです。

へやにベッドがあります。べーどはおおきくて、やわらかいです。わたしはまいあさベッドでとびます。ベッドのうえにペットがいます。たいへんきれいないぬです。

ベッドのひだりにふるいつくえがあります。つくえのうえにソニーのラップトップやおばあさんスタンドヤとけいなどがありあす。わたしはとうきょうでラップトップをかいました。ラップトップはあたらしくないですが、たいへんべんりです。スタンドはきれいではありません。とけいはよんじっぷんおくれています。べんりでわありません。

つくえのそばにテーブルがあります。テーブルのうえにラジオとサンドイッチがあります。わたしはまいばんラジオ4をききます。サンドイッチはたいへんふるくて、おいしくないです。サンドをたべたくないですよ。

わたしのへやはてぜまです。でも、わたしはたいへんすきです。

My room is small and very messy.

There is a bed in my room. It’s big and soft. Every morning I jump on my bed. On top of my bed is my pet. A very beautiful dog.

To the left of the bed there is an old desk. On top of the desk there is a Sony laptop,my Grandmother’s lamp, a clock and so on. I bought the laptop in Tokyo. The laptop isn’t new but it is very useful. The lamp isn’t very attractive. The clock is forty minutes slow. It’s not useful.

Near to the desk there is a table. On top of the table is a radio and a sandwich. I listen to Radio 4 every evening. The sandwich is very old and not tasty. I don’t want to eat it!

My room is cramped. But I like it a lot.

It should be noted that none of this is actually true. However, it is a lot more fun than “My room is horrible”. That cleverly leads me onto my next piece of news, however;

I am moving out! On Tuesday! I found a small room in a house sharing with three students. The biggest benefit being it’s about twenty seconds walk from where my lectures take place. Finally I can just roll out of bed at 11 and still be on time for an 11.10 lecture.

Finally, I wanted to add a post to the “Photography” category, since they are somewhat thin on the ground at the moment (not for long!) so here is a photo of my lovely dog;

Isn’t he lovely? Click him for a bigger version.

マイク・パクスマンのプロフィール
名前：マイケル・パクスマン
年齢：十九
ニックネーム: マイク

私はイギリス人です。でも、出身地はスコットランドのアッバーデンです。
好きな食べ物は焼きそばです.
趣味はスノーボードをします、音楽を聴きますと映画を見ます。
よろしくおねがいします!

There you are, then. I had a good stab at writing myself a profile, then I hijacked an exchange student, and she helped me make it read properly, rather than being a collection of angry scribbles. I’ll do a translation and so forth in due time, but for now I’m just proud of what I can manage.
Everyone is strictly forbidden from correcting my grammar, symbol usage or anything else in the comments!