Japan Is Doomed

I’ve been meaning to write this update for some time now. In case you’re wondering when the eye of the blogging storm will pass, I have quite a few interesting things coming up this next week, so everyone can stop complaining and leave me be!

Anyway, Karaoke. Before I go any further, I feel I should dispel a few myths about Karaoke in Japan. Firstly, each Karaoke establishment has hundreds of private rooms, it is not one Karaoke machine on a stage in a bar. I don’t know exactly how many rooms one place might have, but I’d estimate it at eight floors, twenty or so rooms per floor. You can fit between four (small room) to twenty (large room) people in each one, and everyone’s paying to be there and then paying for food and drinks. You do the maths.

Inside each room is a large TV, two remote controls, some books listing every song on the system and two microphones. One of the remote controls looks like a TV remote, and is used to type in the numbers of songs which can be found in the books. The other remote is a touch screen interactive menu for selecting songs. Once you select it, it joins the queue of songs. Once it’s your turn, it pops up and you sing along to the words whilst everyone laughs.

Firstly, the selection of songs. Different Karaoke companies have different choices, and there are one or two places that have fantastic selections. I always try to test the limits by choosing some really obscure stuff but when ultimately, nobody ever chooses them anyway. Everyone just chooses Bohemian Rhapsody anyway.

I’ve been to Karaoke many, many times since I’ve been here, with various groups of different people. Below I have put the most common three songs or artists for each particular style of client;

Young Japanese

• 1. High pitched, instantly forgettable Japanese pop song.
  Uuuuurrrrgggghh….
• 2. High pitched but slow paced, instantly forgettable Japanese pop song.
  Uuuuurrrrggg (twenty minute guitar solo) ggggghh…
• 3. Avril Lavigne - Complicated.
  Just as bad as the others, but this time I know what’s going on.

Young Foreigners

• 1. Something by The Beatles.
  Japanese people love it, and everyone knows the tunes.
• 2. Something by Britney Spears.
  Japanese people love it, takes no skill at all to sing.
• 3. Anything else from America or Britain.
  Japanese people don’t know it but try their hardest, which is fun to watch.

Drunken Rabble

• 1. Europe - The Final Countdown
  Do do dooo doo! Do doo doo doo doooo!
• 2.
  Nobody has any idea what song they’re singing by this point.
• 3. Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
  “I’m going to sing the guitar solo!”

With the majority of foreigners I go with we finish with Bohemian Rhapsody every time. Which is awesome.

I’m sorry there’s no photos but often the rooms are so dark for Karaoke that taking any photos would cause everyone to die from epilepsy. Still, every time I post that I don’t have any pictures, I invariably end up posting some soon afterwards…

*Bohemian Rhapsody*

Gap Year